A Reason to Live
by Di Michelle
Summary: Bella's world comes crashing down on her in one day. Will she find the strength to pick up the pieces?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Ok this has been floating around in my mind. If you like it, I will continue, if not, I won't. I need inspiration to continue. So please read, review and let me know.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. The talented Stephenie Meyer does.**

The day that my family had anticipated and dreaded for the last 70 years had come. Aro, Caius, and Marcus had attacked us. I guess Aro felt the threat of my family was too great. Alice had seen it coming so we were prepared, or at least we thought we had been.

I was in battle with one of the guards and out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward battling Caius himself. I was so scared for him. I wanted to go help him, but I knew that if I did, I would be dead before I could reach him. So I helplessly fought on.

The destruction and massacre was too much, it was going on all around me. I couldn't concentrate on my family, or even Edward anymore. I had to concentrate on my enemy before me if I was going to survive this. I fought with everything in me, keeping a mental picture of Edward and Renesmee in front of my eyes. They were my everything, my reason for living. Remembering my beautiful daughter's smile on her wedding day, I grabbed the guard and pulled with all of my might. With that his head was in my hands. I clawed and grabbed and tore the rest of him apart. Someone had begun a fire and I threw the pieces in it, hearing the fire hiss and crackle as it engulfed the cold hard limbs.

The battle wore on without me seeing or hearing anything. Everything was going on in a blur. I searched for my husband and daughter, but found nothing. From what I could see our side was winning. Miracle of miracles! But where was my family? I saw Carlisle defending Esme, Emmett and Rose battling 2 other vampires and Jasper fighting 3 by himself. Where were Alice, Edward and Nessie?

The battle continued on around me. I could hear the screaming, growling, and crashing as hard granite bodies connected with each other. The fire raged on as more pieces of flesh were thrown on. I couldn't tell from which vampires they were from.

In what seemed like hours, but was just minutes, the screaming and crashing had quieted. Ash and smoke billowed around me. We stood silently. We had won! We had WON! I looked around to see everyone quiet, taking in everything. Carlisle and Esme were locked in a hard embrace. Jake was holding Nessie as hard as he could. Emmett had his arms around Rose while both watched the fire burn. Jasper was staring into the fire by himself. His eyes were cold as stone. No emotion was on his face.

I looked around searching everywhere. That was all of my family members I could see. Jake and Nessie were sobbing. Slowly my vampire mind registered everything and it clicked. I let out a blood curdling scream.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I went on pure instinct. I didn't care where I was going, I just had to escape. Escape from the presence of others, escape reality, the horrible truth that was staring me in the face.

_Alice. _Mybest friend…my sister, was just gone. Immortality fools you. It gives you a sense that nothing will change. Well, I guess not immortality, nobody was completely immortal. That was just proven to me. Vampirism, I guess. Being a vampire had given me a false sense of security. _Edward._ My mind said the name and my stone cold heart shattered into a million pieces. I thought we had forever. I become a vampire so I could be with him forever. Now he was gone. My perfect eternity was shattered.

How could my beloved Edward be gone? I thought we would have forever, and he's gone. They both were. What was I going to do? How was I supposed to survive without my other half? A part of me died with Edward. I wasn't complete without him. And my sister, how was I supposed to go on without my best friend? I couldn't, plain and simple. I couldn't live without them. But, being virtually indestructible meant I had no real way to make the pain go away. I couldn't exactly go to the Volturi, my family had taken care of them. I couldn't destroy myself, I remembered that Carlisle had tried that route and it didn't work. My family…my family. They would be devastated. They wouldn't help me, this much I knew. And how would they handle another loss? They had already lost one sister and daughter, how could they lose another? They had already lost a son, brother, and…father.

_Renesmee_. My beautiful Renesmee. She already lost her father, could I really make her lose her mother too? No. I couldn't do that to her. Edward wouldn't want me to. He would want me to continue to live, so would Alice. I couldn't give up. I couldn't let them down. I had to stay here. I had to stay for them, for Renesmee. But if I was only half of a person, vampire, whatever, how could I survive? I had no answer for myself.

"WHY?!!!" I screamed into the sky. "Why did you leave me? How could you leave me? Don't you know I can't survive without you? How am I supposed to continue without you? You were my everything! How could you do this to me?!!" My body was shaking with sobs. Oh how I wish I could cry! But of course my eyes remained dry. Humans don't realize how strong the healing power of tears is. I was dead, dead like I had never been before.

I sat there by myself, in my misery. Slowly the numbness set in. I began to feel nothing. It was like the days during my change. I had felt unbearable pain, all consuming. Then slowly, the pain was extinguished and I felt nothing. I knew my pain now was still there, but it was like my heart had been injected with Novocain. I knew the hurt was there, but I couldn't feel anything. I stood up, going on autopilot. My brain wouldn't comprehend anything. I turned and headed back in the direction I came from.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I don't own it.**

Chapter 3

I slowly became aware of my surroundings. I smelled the familiar scents left by my family, what was left of it. I followed their trail and realized they had gone back home. I followed their trail and slowly approached my home. I opened the door and slowly walked in. Nessie and Jake were in the living room, I didn't see anyone else.

"Mom?" Nessie asked me quietly.

I went to her and hugged her tightly to me. No words were spoken as she broke down and cried as I held her. I kept my sobs inside. Right now I needed to be there for my daughter. I would grieve on my own again later.

"I love you, mom." Nessie told me quietly.

"I love you too sweetheart." I tried my hardest to smile at her. She smiled a small sad smile, her father's smile. We said nothing else. I let her go and walked up the stairs to my room. After shutting the door and locking it, I sat down slowly on the bed that Edward and I had shared. I curled up into a ball and hugged Edward's pillow. Inhaling his sent, I laid there and let the sobs come over me again. I stayed that way for the rest of the night.

JPOV

I stood outside the house in the woods, listening to Bella's sobs. I felt her pain wash over me. Mixed with my own raw grief, I was overcome. I fell to my knees onto the soft earth. _Alice._ My mind screamed. How could she be gone? She was my partner, my everything. I felt like a huge part of me had been ripped from me. We had been together for over a century. She knew me better than anyone. How was I supposed to exist without her? I didn't know.

Waves of sadness, grief, and despair washed over me. My whole family was hurting. They had all lost a part of themselves, each their own small part. However, nobody felt more alone than me, except Bella. Her despair wrapped all around me, stronger than any other outside emotion. It was unbearable. It was so raw, just like my own. I knew that Alice would want me to help her. She had been Bella's best friend. She would want me to take care of her. _Oh, Alice. I can't do anything without you here. I love you._

I knew that I would try to help Bella as best I could, but I had to take care of myself right now. Bella was hurting enough right now, she did not need me to project my own pain onto her. Besides, I couldn't help anyone right now. I couldn't handle all the pain around me. I needed to be alone with my own personal grief. I silently fled into the secluded woods.


End file.
